Have you ever experienced something that shook your confidence? Maybe your boss gave you some harsh feedback at work. Maybe your significant other broke up with you. Or maybe you just said something embarrassing.
The good news is you are not alone!
Even the most confident person can suffer from self-doubt in certain situations. It’s natural for us to begin questioning ourselves when encountering stress and uncertainty. When this happens, our inner critic gets REALLY good at going through negative “what if” scenarios, our fight or flight response starts to kick in, and overthinking often leads to more stress and anxiety. At this point we may also start giving ourselves a hard time about how we’re feeling, but this does nothing to actually solve the situation and, instead, usually makes us feel worse!
Let’s walk through three strategies which can help you rebuild your confidence!
3 Ways To Rebuild Your Confidence
1. SHIFT YOUR FOCUS
Let’s say you have a big presentation coming up. Your less confident self focuses on the negatives and starts to worry about what will happen if you fail the presentation. You worry that if you aren’t prepared, you will sound unintelligent, your boss will think less of you, and your credibility will be compromised. You see this presentation as a struggle.
INSTEAD, TRY TO SHIFT YOUR FOCUS TO THE POSITIVES. WHAT IF THIS PRESENTATION IS AN OPPORTUNITY TO SHINE INSTEAD OF A POTENTIAL FAILURE? RATHER THAN FIXATING ON THE PRESSURE, YOU MAY INSTEAD FEEL EXCITED ABOUT THE POSSIBILITIES THIS COULD CREATE FOR YOU – PERHAPS GREATER RESPONSIBILITY OR A PROMOTION AFTER YOUR BOSS SEES YOU PERFORM WELL. BY SHIFTING YOUR LANGUAGE, YOU CAN SHIFT YOUR FOCUS, AND A POSITIVE FOCUS WILL HELP REBUILD YOUR CONFIDENCE.
2. MOVE YOUR BODY
Changing your mindset often starts with changing your body. Have you ever heard the saying “fake it till you make it”? Embrace this and you will soon learn why it is a key strategy to help you rebuild your confidence! Whenever you start feeling less confident, visualize how you want to feel.
HOW DOES THE CONFIDENT VERSION OF YOURSELF STAND (STRAIGHT UP OR HUNCHED OVER?), BREATHE (DEEP AND RELAXED, OR SHORT AND SHALLOW?), ANDTALK (SMILING WITH EYE CONTACT AND A LOUDER VOICE, OR FROWNING, LOOKING DOWN AND SPEAKING SOFTLY?)?
Embody the more confident version of yourself and you will naturally start to feel more confident. Focus on a couple of moves (like deep breaths and standing tall) before you head into your next big presentation and notice how it strengthens your confidence!
3. UPGRADE YOUR BELIEFS
Rebuilding confidence also requires a shift in your beliefs. If you believe you might fail that big upcoming presentation, this thought could become your reality. Instead of focusing on a belief that doesn’t serve you, replace it with one that does. What if you shifted your belief from “I may or may not fail this presentation” to “A successful presentation is my only option”? Once you’ve created a positive belief, lock it in by repeating this statement to yourself daily. The more you focus on a positive belief, the more it will build your confidence and become your reality.
CONFIDENCE IS A MINDSET RATHER THAN A PERMANENT STATE OF BEING. INCREASING IT REQUIRES CONSISTENT EFFORT. WITHOUT THIS FOCUS, WE CAN FIND OURSELVES IN A CONFIDENCE CRISIS – A DARK HOLE OF SELF-DOUBT THAT BECOMES HARDER TO DIG OURSELVES OUT OF. IT’S IMPORTANT TO UNDERSTAND HOW TO REBUILD YOUR CONFIDENCE TO MINIMIZE THE TIME YOU SPEND IN THIS HOLE, SO YOU CAN INSTEAD SPEND MORE TIME LIVING AND LOVING LIFE!