What To Do When You Realize Your Dream Job Isn’t Your Dream Job

Achieving Goals

03/29/19

Niteesha Gupte

I had two majors in college: Biology for my parents, French for me. After undergrad, I started a masters program in public health and landed my dream job of teaching French to kids in an afterschool program. I had wanted so badly to use my French, especially after everyone said it was a useless major. The job was everything I wanted. It was part-time, so I could still focus on my graduate program. I used my French language skills, so that I could put my degree to use. It uncluded purpose-driven work because I was teaching kids. And it promised to be fun and engaging as the program used artwork and other creative resources to teach. I was thrilled! I told everybody who questioned what I’d do with my French major about the job and started it with gusto. Only to realize, within the first few weeks, that my job was as a glorified babysitter. I hadn’t signed up for that. So, what do you do when you realize that your dream job isn’t your dream job? Whether you’re three weeks, three months, or three years into the job, don’t panic. This is more common than you’d think. It could be that you take a job that doesn’t match up to your expectations. Or maybe you grow as you work and realize that you want different things than what your job can offer. Once you start pressing snooze 8 or 9 times in the morning and negotiating or downright bribing yourself in ways to get out of bed and to work, you know it’s time to regroup. First off, the fact that this is a job that you call your dream job makes it hard, embarrassing, scary, and hundreds of additional negative adjectives that make it difficult to admit you are unhappy. This is the job that you searched for months to find. You’ve researched like crazy, made connections when you hate networking, and spent hours on producing a polished cover letter and resume. You’ve prepared for your interviews and knocked them out of the park. You got the offer, and you shouted it from the treetops. But remember that the only person that gets hurt if you don’t own the fact that the job no longer is working for you is yourself. You owe it to yourself and your career to reflect and explore the problem. Getting Clear Before taking any action, get clear on what you don’t like about the job. What makes it not your dream job anymore? For example, if your response to that question is there’s a negative work environment, then spend some time breaking that down and identifying what elements makes a positive environment for you. If your response is that you’re not doing the type of work you thought you’d be doing, then write down what work you want to be doing. If your response is that you’re working way more hours that you thought you would, think about what an ideal work-life balance looks like for you. It’s important that you go beyond the superficial in your investigation. Considering Next Steps Once you have a good understanding of what is making your dream job no longer your dream job, your next steps become clearer. Generally, these steps will fall into three categories: – The issue is temporary and may resolve itself – The challenge you’re having is potentially fixable if you take steps to address it – The problem is intrinsic to the job and it’s time to go. Temporary glitch After your reflection, you may realize that the problem is temporary. If you’re miserable because of a specific project or client, then you know that the job will get its shiny glow back soon enough. In the meantime, consider ways that can make this period of time more palatable. Could you communicate your challenges to your manager so that your workload could be shifted allowing for it to be more manageable? Could you ask co-workers for help? Maybe you could plan something you love doing on the weekend so that you have something to look forward to? However, if these periods of time start adding up and outweigh the times that your dream job is still your dream job, then you may want to re-evaluate. Fixer upper After you are clear with the issues you’re having, you could see that they can be addressed and resolved. Say you no longer find the work you’re doing to be challenging since you’ve been doing it for three years straight. Are there opportunities at your company to get involved in other work which would allow you to learn something new and develop in another area? Perhaps you’re a new manager and you’re really struggling with your direct reports. It’s keeping you from doing your own work and making you miserable. Ask management if there’s a new leader program you can attend. Consider exploring some online classes that could provide tips and tools of how to manage employees. Or maybe there’s an opportunity to work with a coach to help you navigate being a first-time manager and develop your authentic management style. If, however, your attempts to develop aren’t being addressed, then you may want to reassess. Get out Once you’re clear on why you’re unhappy, it’s time to search for a different job. This could be a tough realization. In my case, after evaluating why the French teaching job wasn’t for me, it was clear to me that I had to search for a new position. It took a little while to admit that to myself because I was so proud that I found a position that used my French. Especially when I had so many people saying I wouldn’t. In the long run, it was for my own happiness that I knew it was critical that I let go. It’s okay if your dream job isn’t your dream job. It may feel discouraging, but it’s only helped you become clearer on what

Using the Ikigai Approach to Identifying a Fulfilling Career

Career Discovery

10/16/18

Niteesha Gupte

I love learning about words from different languages that have no direct translation in English. Although we fit the translation into simple terms, the meanings go much deeper and always offer such rich information about a culture. For example, the word, fika, in Swedish, translates to “a coffee and cake break” but it refers to a concept about making time during the day to stop working and socialize with friends and colleagues while having a coffee or tea and something to eat. This ritual is a critical part of Swedish culture and demonstrates its value on community. A couple of years ago, I learned about the word, ikigai, and it changed the course of my career. Ikigai translates from Japanese, to “reason for being” or “what gets you out of bed in the morning”. Ikigai is not a concept solely tied to career fulfillment. In Japan, it is a life practice or pursuit that makes a life worth living. It encompasses a balanced view of what it takes to achieve a fulfilling work life, which when realized, should provide a purposeful life, happiness, and longevity. For me, ikigai gave a framework that I could connect with at a time when I felt stuck in my career as a lawyer. It seemed like I was always searching for the right position – one in which I felt engaged and excited, challenged and supported by colleagues and supervisors, and was contributing in a meaningful way. Finally, a sense of dread came over me when I realized that maybe a career in law wouldn’t provide me with what I wanted out of my work life. As a lawyer, I had been trained to think analytically. I took only calculated risks. The idea of changing my career after more than a decade in it, seemed overwhelming (what would I even do?), unwise (how would I make sufficient money?), and unattainable (how would I even do it?). Ikigai offered me a logical approach in exploring a career change. During my first attempt at leaving law, I focused on my interests. Everyone says, “Follow your passions and you will be successful.” But I couldn’t figure out how to translate my interests into a meaningful, paid position. The ikigai framework for a fulfilling life is a balance of four elements: Your interests or what you love Your strengths or what you are good at Your contribution or what the world, society and community needs, and What you can be paid for The goal is to find a balance of all four elements in your work. If you’re doing work that you’re passionate about and that you are good at, but it’s not meaningful and you aren’t paid at a sufficient level, you will not feel fulfilled in the long run. If you’re doing work that you’re good at, that is meaningful, and you’re paid well, but you don’t really have any interest in it, then you will not ultimately feel fulfilled. So how do you become clear on how the four elements play out for you? Here are some ways to help get you started. Your interests It seems easy enough, right? What do I like? However, if you went from school to work, with your head down and following the path of success that was drawn out for you, it’s not surprising if you don’t know what you like anymore. So here are some questions to ask yourself: What websites or social media sites do I visit regularly? What did I like to do when I was around age 10? What do I get excited about doing? What would I do even if I am dead tired or super busy? Your strengths Similar to interests, you may not know what your strengths are. You may have started studying for a career early in life, building skills for a particular subject, but never spent the time to understand what you’re good at. You can develop and nurture skills, but what are those strengths that come naturally to you? Here are some questions to get you started: What do your friends and family come to you for when they need help? What were you good at when you were around 10 years old? What do your work colleagues come to you for when they need help? What have your teachers or supervisors indicated as strengths in your work? Your contribution This one was a big one for me as I was considering my career change. I wanted to make a meaningful contribution and be able to see my impact. This can seem like an overwhelming concept, but here are some questions that may help focus you: What do you want your legacy to be? How would you want to be remembered? What does the world need that you want to contribute to? How would you like to make a difference in society? Your income You may find that when you get to the point of wanting to make a career change, the biggest hold up is the financial issue. And at times, it’s because you may be considering a career that doesn’t take into account the fact that you still need to pay the bills. When I learned about this element of ikigai, I was actually relieved. I thought that leaving law would mean leaving my only avenue to make money. Ikigai holds a place for it and made it acceptable for me to include making money as an integral part of my search for a new career. It made my decision much easier to navigate. When you land upon some career options, ask yourself: Would the work serve a need for a specific audience? Would the audience pay for the services or product? Are there others who provide this product or service and do they get paid for it? How much are my expenses and what is my goal income? I found that when I spent time in exploring the four elements of ikigai and how