What Most People Get Wrong About Networking Many people think of networking as a numbers game. They believe that the more new people they connect with, the better their chances of success. This mindset often leads to superficial interactions and missed opportunities for deeper, more meaningful connections that are central to effective networking. Instead of attending networking events making meaningless small talk, it’s time to rethink how you’re approaching networking and building those networking skills to support both your short- and long-term career goals. Why Settle for “Probablies?” Recently I was speaking with someone who confided that he didn’t understand why people say that networking is so important. “It feels like I’m just collecting business cards like Pokemon. Gotta catch ‘em all, I guess,” he said with a rueful smile. I thought for a moment, then asked him to think about the last person he networked with. He said, “Okay, I’m thinking of them.” I replied, “Great, now tell me what it is they do, and how you think they do it.” He said, “They have a marketing job. They probably make websites and do social media posting and do product surveys.” I nodded. “OK, what do you think is the most challenging thing for them in their job?” He responded, “It’s probably keeping up with the latest trends and technologies.” “Got it. Now, what would you say motivates them to do what they do? What do they love to achieve?” He said, “I guess it would be the satisfaction of creating successful campaigns and seeing its impact.” “Makes sense,” I said. “But notice that for every answer, you said ‘probably’ or ‘I guess.’ You might be right, you might be wrong. But if we aren’t approaching networking with a spirit of curiosity and discovery, like doing research, we are just playing Pokemon. The people who are making networking work for them are playing another game—and are turning probablies into certainties.” “OK, from here on out the only people I’ll play Pokemon with are my nieces and nephews.” When you understand people with certainty, you can feel more confident that your efforts to help them will be on target. Likewise, you’re more likely to receive help that’s on target as well. By asking questions and seeking to understand someone fully, we move from assumptions to certainty, leading to more effective and meaningful networking, which is the key to unlocking new opportunities. A Better Way to Approach Your Networking Strategy: Think of It as Puzzle-Solving Instead of focusing on the quantity of connections, consider approaching networking as puzzle-solving. Everyone you meet is like a unique puzzle, with their own stories, needs, and motivations. We all tend to make assumptions about what other people want, what they do, and how they do it. By understanding each person as a puzzle, you can create more meaningful and impactful interactions. This curiosity is essential for conversations that serve as a foundation for a strong network. The good news? Networking skills are easy to learn. A little mindset shift can go a long way! Different Ways to Approach Networking If you’re feeling stuck as you think about networking, I suggest that you start by reframing your networking goals. Here are some fun, different ways to consider approaching an effective networking process: 1. Treat Networking as a Mission Think of each networking interaction as a mission to understand the other person and help them understand you. When we take the time to truly understand one another, we can offer more meaningful assistance and build stronger, more collaborative relationships and valuable connections. Here are some tools you might like to use: After you network, you can reflect on whether or not you achieved your mission, maybe even track your progress in a spreadsheet or notebook! This is a great way to make sure that you’re not playing Pokémon. 2. Create a Great Experience for Others Networking can be a way to help someone else have a memorable experience. It can be rare for someone to feel that someone else genuinely cares enough to learn about them. By asking questions about things that matter to you and showing genuine interest, you can make a lasting impression and build a solid foundation for future interactions. Here are some approaches you might consider: Sometimes when we are meeting people we can get very wrapped up in whether or not we’re making a great impression—and as a result, perhaps not make such a great impression. But when we make an effort to genuinely care about other people, making a great impression is as close to automatic as you can get. 3. Appreciate the Art of Human Interaction Imagine that everyone you meet is a unique work of art. Spend time appreciating the complexity and beauty of each individual. This perspective can transform your networking interactions, making them more enjoyable and enriching. 4. Discover Your Own Way Whatever approach you use, it needs to come from a place of curiosity. As you talk to new people, ask them questions that you care about, not just idle chitchat. Otherwise you’ll find yourself in an interaction that neither of you really wants to be in. As you’re setting goals around your networking efforts, keep these frameworks in mind. When you’re genuine in your conversations, most people find that communication becomes much less uncomfortable. By shifting your mindset from a numbers game to puzzle-solving, you can unlock the true potential of networking and build more meaningful, impactful connections. Setting Long-Term Goals for Networking I hope it goes without saying (but I’ll say it anyway!) your networking goals in the long run need to align with your career goals. As you’re setting networking goals, focus on building a robust network in areas you want to explore or grow, not just meeting new people. Instead, set goals that will help you make progress in your career and accomplish all you hope in your professional life. For example, if you’re interested in community banking, you might start
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