People Pleaser or Servant Leader? Which Are You?

Leadership Coaching

01/02/23

Ame Wadler

Meet Bob: Just two years after being promoted to a coveted Vice President role at his organization he is struggling…big time. He is always tired, anxious, and overworked. Turnover on his team is way above norms. His manager has met with him twice in two months to express concern about his performance. Bob doesn’t understand how this has happened. He has been praised at every step of his career and works hard to be a servant leader. He knows that adopting a servant leader mindset has been shown to be highly effective and teams like working for these leaders because they tend to be more focused on the team’s needs than their own. So where did Bob go wrong? Well Bob confused Servant Leadership with being a People Pleaser. Servant leaders typically: Bob has these intentions and was celebrated for many of them as he rose to his new role in his organization. But, now with some self-examination, he realizes that rather than leading he was focused on pleasing. If you worry that you have crossed the line from leading to pleasing, here are a few questions to ask yourself: If you answer yes to these questions, you’ve crossed the line from servant leader to people pleaser. So, how do you lead with empathy while helping you find balance for yourself and your team? It comes down to open and honest communication: Making the transition from people pleaser to servant leader doesn’t mean never saying yes. It does mean being mindful of a shared purpose, the needs of your team and the greater value you bring when you can diminish the stress and anxiety that comes from excessively pleasing others. If you are looking for support around your people-pleasing tendencies, learn more about how Ama La Vida can help you.

Growth After Being Placed on a Performance Improvement Plan

Leadership Coaching

12/05/22

Ame Wadler

When my oldest son got cut from the 7th grade basketball team, it was devastating. He was a strong player and he simply felt that he was cut for reasons that had nothing to do with his performance. He could have simply given up the sport, but we spent some time coaching him through what went wrong. Truth is, some of what he figured out had been shared with him before, but this time, he chose to take it on board and work to improve. He chose growth and continued playing basketball and is a college basketball coach today. I always think of that story when I am working with people placed on a Performance Improvement Plan (PIP). Most people placed on a PIP by their manager or Human Resources team have had, in theory, numerous conversations about areas for growth. But the formality of a PIP is what might ultimately startle the individual into taking the feedback seriously – perhaps for the first time. Sadly, many people assume that being placed on a PIP is the employer’s unspoken way of saying “you are a few months from being fired…no matter what you do.” They view the PIP as mere documentation to support the employer’s decision. However, when the PIP comes with an offer of coaching (a clear investment in the individual), the individual can often see a path to growth. It’s not unusual for someone placed on a PIP to feel hurt and angry and be in a bit of denial. Initially, they may be defensive and convince themselves that there’s nothing they can do to improve their situation but, in my experience, once a person has the chance to vent to a neutral third party, they become more ready to consider the possibility that the outlined areas of improvement are worthy of their attention. When coaching people who are feeling a PIP as a threat, the following 6 steps can help bring them to a growth mindset that leads to success: