Author: Nicole Wood

How to Still Like Your Co-founders After 2 Years

Entrepreneurship

12/05/17

Nicole Wood

I talk to people all the time who are just starting businesses or are considering it, and one of my top pieces of advice is always to find a great co-founder. I can say with 100% certainty that if I were not working with Foram and Katie and had to build ALV all on my own I would have given up by now. It’s not because I’m not a smart enough or capable enough individual; it’s because starting a business is freaking hard. It requires such a wide variety of skills, but most importantly, it requires unrelenting stamina, both physical and emotional. It’s unfair of me, however, to just say, “Find a great co-founder, and you’ll be fine!” It’s a gross oversimplification of the work that goes into making a healthy co-founding team function (keep in mind, that most of this is applicable to any senior leadership team).  Just like a marriage, we work at it. We constantly evolve it. As icky as it may feel (for me anyway) we talk about our feelings. Here are some of my tips for maintaining a high-functioning, highly supportive co-founding team: Have the tough conversations. Let’s just get this one right out in the open because it’s obvious but also something so many people avoid. It is incredibly rare that major issues just work themselves out. I dare you to find one co-founder who swept a significant issue or disagreement under the rug, and it went away on its own. You spend your life with these people. Your livelihood depends on these people. Issues are amplified, and most of the time if they aren’t addressed they fester. To the point where you can physically feel yourself getting mad when even something tangential to the issue gets brought up. As uncomfortable as it may be, you need to discuss it. At ALV we have quarterly partner meetings where we force ourselves to take a step back from the day-to-day operations and discuss, you guessed it, our partnership. We also talk strategy and goal-setting, but a core objective, one that we never allow to fall off the agenda is to talk about our relationship, what’s working and what’s not. Some things we always discuss: What’s happening in our personal lives which may be relevant to the business (e.g., family planning, financial considerations, moves, health considerations with us or our families). It may feel unnecessary to discuss this stuff, but the reality is these things do impact your energy, your work and your availability. They are things which, if not out in the open, can lead to false assumptions and bitterness. If I know you’re out every Friday because you’re taking care of a sick parent versus throwing back champagne at brunch (though I personally have respect for both), my response to you being out of office will be quite different. We go around in a circle and share what we think each co-founder is doing really well. This is not only a feel-good exercise, but it helps us to identify things we didn’t necessarily know we were strong at or were contributing to the team. It helps us reprioritize for the future. We also share what we think each co-founder can improve upon. When this is offered in this safe, supportive space versus a piece of feedback fired off in the heat of the moment, it is always so much more well-received. Separate from skills and leadership, we also discuss opportunities for improvement from a strictly “what am I doing that’s pissing you off” standpoint. It could be something as simple as “I hate when you misuse this word” to “you’re constantly five minutes late for meetings.” It’s these little things that build into resentment over time. Get ’em out there. Get ’em resolved. What new partnership strategies we need to implement. For example, we recently introduced the act of stating our care factor (1 being not that important and 5 being very important) before voicing an opinion about a decision. We found that we could have a passionate debate for a long time only to find out an hour later that no one was actually all that passionate about the thing we were discussing. We were debating because we had an opinion, not because we cared all that much about the outcome. Our new, simple strategy of saying “I’m a one on this” helps us give more time and energy to the things that actually matter to us and helps us resolve disagreements more easily when it’s clear that one founder cares about that particular thing a lot more than the other. Treat your business with the same professionalism as any other company. It’s easy to slip into this mentality that because it’s your business, you don’t have to be quite so buttoned up. In some ways it’s true. After all, I wear sweatpants to 90% of my meetings (video conferencing is a beautiful thing). Things like timing and location of work, you have a lot more flexibility on. But things like how you show respect to colleagues should be no different. If we have to cancel a meeting or miss a business trip, we send a formal communication to the relevant parties and help them plan coverage. If we want to take a Tuesday off because our spouse has some time off, we do it, but first we circulate the idea with the team to ensure there is nothing that will fall through the cracks. Sure we could all say, “Well technically I’m my own boss so I don’t have to ask permission,” but that’s not the point. The point is to hold one another with the same regard and show the same respect that we would to any other colleague. Find the time and place. You most certainly don’t want to wait for quarterly meetings to provide feedback – timeliness is important for many things. That being said, you always have to remember that your team will pick up on your

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Ladies, don’t go get the water

Women Empowerment

11/19/17

Nicole Wood

Back when I was working in Corporate Strategy for a digital marketing agency, I was preparing for a meeting with a potential strategic partner. It was that lull before the meeting begins when you awkwardly make small talk. Someone mentioned wanting water and that we should grab some water bottles for our guests. I was the most junior person in the room, so I probably should have been the one to go get them. But I was also the only female in the meeting, on either side of the table. I knew if I went and got those waters that I would be viewed throughout that meeting as the girl who’s there to get stuff. To make sure everyone is taken care of. I wanted to be respected just like everyone else. I wanted my ideas and questions taken seriously. And so I sat there. Didn’t move an inch. Did that thing you do when you don’t want the teacher to call on you, and so you don’t make direct eye contact. My boss went and got the waters.   This may seem like a silly story and like I was way overthinking it. And I may have been. But these are the silly things that we as women have to think about. Will my fetching a few water bottles or the color of my shirt or the shade of my lipstick impact the ability of those around me to respect me for my brain? It’s wrong. It’s so wrong. In fact, it’s complete bullshit. But sadly it is still our reality.   So I walk two tracks in tandem. One track is strategically navigating the corporate world in which we live today. I don’t get the water. I don’t wear hot pink to a meeting with a conservative company just in case that causes their perception of me to subconsciously or consciously be shaped not in my favor. And I advise women around me to do the same. To be cognizant and considerate about the biases that still exist and the tendencies we as women often have which can sometimes decelerate our career trajectory relative to our male counterparts. Being more collaborative in nature, many women give credit to the team in performance reviews and try to avoid coming across conceited. I say brag. When there’s an administrative task to be done which is in no one’s job description, women are often assigned or even volunteer. It’s nice to be nice, but it takes time and energy away from more strategic activities. I say don’t volunteer – at least not more than anyone else. Women tend to shy away from applying for jobs or going for promotions when the job description uses the word “expert.” I’ll bet you are an expert, and if not yet, then you can quickly become one. I say go for it.   The second track I walk is one which doesn’t accommodate the status quo. It’s longer-term. It’s putting myself in a position of influence, so I can continue to fight against the system which is making track one even a thing. It’s putting myself at the head of the table, so even if I get the waters, people know I have every right to be there. It’s building my credibility over time. It’s letting my work speak for itself. It’s doing work which speaks so loudly that there’s no way a conversation about my shirt could even be heard.   Like you, I’m upset that women have to trouble themselves with these things. That I’m even writing a blog post about who fetches water bottles. You may think it’s trivial, and I’d agree. Which is why I’m frustrated. But it’s also why I work every day to put more women in positions of influence. To teach them how to navigate track one so they too can work to eliminate it. Help me. If color of attire gets brought up in a debrief, shut it down. If you’re assigning administrative work, spread it among men and women alike. If you’re at a table full of strong opinions and personalities, pause to see who can’t get a word in. Ask them what they think.   I know we’re moving in the right direction. And I know the more we educate and spread awareness the quicker we’ll get there. So grab yourself a water, stay hydrated, and let’s sprint down track two.  

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Why I’m Happier Making No Money After Walking Away From 6-Figures

Career Discovery

10/12/17

Nicole Wood

I’m now a year into my startup journey, a natural point for review and reflection, and though starting a business has been and continues to be incredibly difficult, the bottom line is I’m happy. I certainly wasn’t miserable in my previous jobs. I had high visibility. Great career trajectory. Amazing friends at the office. The difference is, it felt to me like I was just going through the motions. Like I was working hard day after day but toward something I wasn’t sure how much I really impacted. Or even cared about for that matter. Sure I could afford nice things, and so I’d buy them. And then I’d chat with friends and colleagues, all equally decorated with nice things, and we’d complain again and again about the same stuff. As it turned out, Kate Spade and J Crew weren’t enough to make us happy.  We were an army of well-dressed, highly capable professionals all quickly becoming disillusioned with the life of middle management. My soul craved something more. I had to abandon my post. To me mediocrity is worse than failure. Monotony worse than crisis. I need to feel alive and on a mission. And boy did I set out on one. I left my job and launched Ama La Vida in September of 2016. We are building a business that we hope…know will transform the coaching industry and the way people think about investing in themselves. We are attracting talented coaches from all over the world who are passionate about helping people achieve their own successes and break free from the posts they’ve been scared to leave for far too long. I light up thinking about the future, but I still live in the here and now. We are still tweaking our operations and figuring things out. We certainly aren’t making the big bucks. We have big, bold plans for the future, and so most of our income gets reinvested in the business. I don’t buy nice things anymore. I don’t go to dinner and order the $42 fish. I don’t get pedicures or the new boots at Nordstrom. But I also don’t get sick. I actually get sleep. I get outside in the middle of the day and see the sun. I get excited to face each day’s adventure and challenges. I work on problems I deeply care about, and I get to share my greatest gifts with my team and the world on a daily basis. My toenails have seen better days, but my body, soul and mind are thanking me. I constantly see new studies telling me I’m not alone. That a lot of you are sitting at your desks, wearing and carrying your nice things, but wanting something different. Don’t let your dreams dissolve over time. Don’t let another day go by convincing yourself that your post is your only option. It’s not. You don’t need to be an entrepreneur to be happy or do something as drastic as I did. You just have to do what it is that your soul has been craving. Take the pay cut for the role you really want. Sacrifice a couple month’s salary to go on that trip you’ve been dreaming of. Put up some capital to give your business idea a try. Sacrifice one pair of shoes in your closet to have someone help you figure out what your mission is. I promise you, it’s worth it to feel alive.  

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The Right to Try

Women Empowerment

08/03/17

Nicole Wood

I recently returned home from my second trip to Belize. Absolutely stunning country. Bursting with interesting history, a curious mix of cultures and ocean views to die for. But while abundant in beauty, it’s lacking in options. There’s certainly no Silicon Valley. Barely a university. No Home Depot. Not even a McDonald’s. Its people, however, are kind and proud. They will gladly show you the sites and welcome you into their homes, as our newly made friends down there did this trip. Our friend Mirsa invited us over. While I sat and played with her dog, her little cousin Shanies walked into the living room and went straight to grab something from the kitchen. Shanies lived in a separate unit in the same building. Knock on the front door? Don’t be ridiculous. She simply climbed over the barrier on the balcony and walked right in the open doorway. At only 15 years old, she was gorgeous. But I got the feeling she didn’t know it yet. Ed, my husband, teased her from the moment she walked in, as is typical for him to do, and she didn’t so much as flinch. I liked her already. After a 13-hour workday on her feet, Shanies’s mom came home, and we had a nice chat. She bragged about how smart Shanies was. “She makes all A’s in school!” I turned to Shanies and said, “That’s incredible! What do you want to be when you grow up?” Given my profession and being a privileged white person in America, it was a natural question to ask. With a shrug, “I don’t know.” My initial thought was “Ah teenagers…don’t think these things through.” But very quickly I realized, there wasn’t much thinking to do. Shanies’s mom went on to explain that college is not an option. Tuition is far too high. With minimum wage at $1.65/hr in Belize, mom could work as many 13-hour shifts as her feet could handle and never come close to paying for higher education. In fact, only 75% of students in Belize even make it to high school, with less finishing all four years. So Shanies would likely go on to cook. Or serve at a restaurant. Or work at a hotel. All perfectly fine professions. But what angered me was that her options were so limited. I wanted to stuff her in my suitcase and take her home with me. It was only a few hours on a plane separating her from top-notch education and endless opportunity. Who knows if she would have even wanted it. I’m not so US-centric that I can’t see that there are many ways life in Belize is preferable to life here. I just wanted her to have the choice. Shanies might be the next Oprah. Or Elon Musk. Or Tory Burch. Or Sheryl Sandberg. I don’t know who or what she could be, but I know that she has the right to try. Thinking about her on my plane ride home and gearing up for a full day of work in the morning, I realized that it is my duty to build my business for her. It is my duty to help my clients achieve all they can. To help our coaches prosper and make an impact. To work with the same hustle and endurance as Shanies’s mom does. Simply because I can. Because I was given the gift of being born in a place and family where I was taught to dream about my future and was told that college was expected. Because I was given the choice. And I’m going to make the right one. I’m not sure yet how Ama La Vida will help Shanies and the many young women around the world like her, but I’m for damn sure going to explore it. For now, I’ll put my head down and keep working. Keep building my business so it can afford me with a greater platform to make a change in the hopefully not-so-distant future. But know I’m thinking of you. I’m scheming. And you can bet your asses I’ll be back.

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When It Comes to Ideas, Fuel Them Don’t Dilute Them

Entrepreneurship

06/01/17

Nicole Wood

I have worked at companies or on specific projects where I would come up with an idea that I thought was pretty good.  An idea to solve a business problem. To attempt to fill a hole that would otherwise sit there and gobble up time and money. So, in a burst of inspiration, I’d take charge and propose a solution. Perhaps not a perfect solution but a starting point. I’d begin to discuss it with others whose approval I’d require or whose functional expertise I’d need to draw on. And the more I’d discuss it with others, the worse the idea would become. I’d hear “no” after “no” – all reasons why the idea wasn’t perfect. All obstacles standing in the way of it filling the hole. All completely valid statements, for the record, but unproductive ones. So I’d have to change the idea to keep it moving, lest it die right then and there. With each “no” the idea would get more watered down, to the point that it became unrecognizable, and at the end it was hardly an idea at all. While at first my plan was to fill the hole, the idea had become more like laying a piece of paper over it. Why bother. At Ama La Vida, coming up with ideas is fun. We have no shortage of business problems; everywhere we look there are holes to be filled.  But now when I propose a solution, even a mediocre or outlandish one, I have faith it will grow into something that fills the hole and solves the problem. I’ll share the idea with my team, and the more I talk to others about it, the bigger and better it becomes. It gets more power behind it. The crappy parts get striped away. It gets shinier and shinier as it gains momentum. Before you know it, it becomes real. The difference in the experiences is represented by this visual: If you want to make progress, be innovative, beat the competition and keep your customers happy, you want your company to be an Idea Fueler not an Idea Diluter. Sure it’s much easier to be a Fueler when you are still very small. Fewer stakeholders. Fewer customers impacted. Fewer approvals required. But if you care enough, you can be a Fueler at any size. And if you aren’t careful, you can be a Diluter at any size too. Here are some ways ALV has built a culture of idea fueling that I welcome you to explore. We’re obsessed with our customer – The more you care about your customer, the more the holes to be filled are even visible to you. And the less you’re willing to tolerate them being around, especially if they are harming your customer experience. When I let a customer down, and of course this is inevitable, I treat it like I let my best friend or family member down, regardless of how well I know them or how much they spend with us. I fix the problem, I’m transparent and I’m apologetic. I put my heart into making it right and then some, not just because I want to preserve the relationship but because I truly give a shit about that person’s life. And the whole ALV team operates this way. The first step to fueling ideas to fix business problems for you and your customer is to build a culture of people who are obsessed with solving them. A culture of people who take business problems personally. We talk about idea fueling and practice it – It may seem unnatural to try and teach your team this behavior, but if you don’t discuss it, you can’t expect them to do it. I have talked to my team very directly about the importance of fueling each other’s ideas, and I have led them in exercises to help us practice it in a safe environment. We create a safe space – Whenever someone presents an idea, no matter how seemingly crazy or unrealistic, we entertain it. Even if we don’t immediately accept it, we approach it with curiosity and encourage the idea generator to tell us more. This creates a space where people feel comfortable, even excited, to share their ideas. We call out bad behavior – Sometimes your knee-jerk reaction will still be to shoot down an idea. To jump right to the “we can’t’s’” instead of the “what if’s.” To immediately reply that the idea is just too out there or too expensive. It happens. It happens to us sometimes. But when we make that mistake, someone on the teams calls it out. “Hey guys, you just crapped on my idea. That’s not how we do things here.” And we all acknowledge that person’s feelings and assessment of the situation. They’re right. We apologize and give them the floor. We make the same call out for one another if we see idea diluting happening to a peer. If you want to build a good behavior as standard practice, you can’t let the bad behavior fly. We’re faced with unreasonable challenges – As a self-funded startup with an incredibly lean team, we face challenges on a daily basis which are beyond unreasonable for us to solve with so few people and resources. But we get creative, and we work our butts off to solve them every time. I hope as we grow, we continue to have more resources to make more delicate and seamless solutions. But I want to ensure that we never lose that scrappiness. That ability to create something from nothing because nothing’s all we had to work with at the time. I will continue to challenge my team to propose solutions and build them with not enough time, people or money. It’s the opposite of spending a budget because you have it. It’s building a solution with less than you have because it’s possible. Don’t forget, the more you dilute ideas, the less likely your people are to

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Don’t Let Life Dilute Your Dreams

05/22/17

Nicole Wood

Everyone has big dreams. Some bury theirs deeper than others. Deep down under a lifetime of experiences telling them their dreams aren’t possible. Some days the dreamer in you might take over and think, “Wouldn’t it be incredible if…,” but you shut it down right away before that dream can even manifest itself into a goal. You discredit it as crazy and unrealistic in an effort of self-preservation, so you’re not disappointed if it does not come to fruition. You force yourself to forget about the incredible and return to the “good enough.” Henry Miller once wrote, “One of the reasons why so few of us ever act, instead of react, is because we are continually stifling our deepest impulses.” He questioned, “Why are we so full of restraint? Why do we not give in all directions? Is it fear of losing ourselves? Until we do lose ourselves there is no hope of finding ourselves.” Fear is a powerful motivator. It is scary to make a change or pursue a dream. Allowing our dreamer to be heard by the world makes us vulnerable. For she is a reflection of our truest self, the one without a restraint-driven façade. When we finally let go and allow ourselves to get lost in the dream, that is when we really start to create something special. Life often has a dilution effect on dreams. When we were younger we let the dreamer have a voice. We’d say, “I want to be president.” Or “I want to be a famous artist.” Or “I want to be an inventor.” But societal pressures take over, and we are taught to believe that the dreamer in us is not the voice of brilliance but rather the voice of irresponsibility. And this leads us to settling for a watered down version of our vision. But what if we gave our dreamer a platform? What if we let her speak? What would our lives look like? After years of silencing my dreamer, I decided to give her a mic. I quit my well-paying job and my upward career trajectory to start back at the bottom, building my own business from nothing more than an idea. The journey has not been easy, but it has been oh so worth it. Every day now feels like I’m adventuring around my own personal playground. Sure, sometimes I still fall and skin my knee, but I get right back up and swirl around a colorful slide with a big ole smile on my face. It’s my playground. And I’ve built it to have all the things I want in it. I’m no longer going down the same straight metal slide over and over again in some public park. Sure, leaving the comfort of a slide already built and a consistent ride was scary, but for me the thought of going down that same metal slide for 30 or 40 more years was even scarier. There’s a recipe for building the life you want which I tapped into to craft my ideal workday. I have to be passionate about what I’m doing. I have to read about my industry out of choice, not obligation. Because I’m so passionate about my work, I don’t struggle to find motivation to work but rather struggle to keep boundaries in place for when to shut down. I have to be utilizing my unique skills, the things which make me shine, feel valued, feel accomplished. I have to work in an environment which aligns with my values. For me, I need an organizational culture which fosters innovation, demands authenticity, celebrates humor.  And I have to know that more days than not, my work is directly correlated with my personal purpose, what I want my life to be about and how I want to make an impact on this world. Now that I have built a life where I am following my passion, engaging my skills, honoring my values, and living my purpose, I sleep better. I laugh more. I care more. I show up more. I’m more the person I want to be because I’m living the life I want to live. You don’t need to quit your job to do this. You just need to start listening to that little voice you’ve told to “shh” for so long. You need to muster the courage. And then, you need to get building. I don’t want your dreams to be diluted versions of what they once were. I want to help you make them potent. Palpable. Unable to be ignored. I don’t want you to succumb to practicality instead of passion. Not anymore. Let’s let your dreamer sing. Let’s entertain the what if’s. Because when you build them into reality, and you will, it sure is incredible.  

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10 Things to do When Your Job Search Doesn’t Go as Planned

04/28/17

Nicole Wood

The job search and interview process is not fun. Let’s call a spade a spade. In fact, it can be downright miserable. Not only are you hyper-conscious of your empty wallet, you’re putting yourself in a constant position of being evaluated, judged and critiqued. And when things don’t go as planned and you get passed over for whatever reason, it can be a big blow to your self-confidence. It’s difficult not to take the outcome personally, and you may start to question your abilities and potentially your decision to make a career change or pursue this career path. When you’re feeling like you’re ready to just throw in the towel, here are some tips to boost your morale and get you back on track toward landing that next job: Use the time to reflect – are you being intentional about your search? Sometimes when we are unhappy in a job or lose our position, we’re in a mad dash to get a new one and try to find something similar to our last role or “good enough.” ALV Coach and Co-founder Katie Bennett says, “When we’re looking for work, we tend to look for all of the opportunities available and then apply for as many as possible. When we approach the application process this way, we are less intentional about what we are looking for. We throw mud everywhere just to see what sticks. Instead, I encourage clients to reverse the traditional application process.  First decide what role or what company you want to work for. Don’t even look at the job boards yet. Just decide what you want. Next, research your top ten organizations with roles in the relevant area. Really study and understand each organization – their background, their competitive advantage, the projects they’re working on and so on. Next, find the relevant person at the organization to reach out to.” Being intentional about your search will not only increase your likelihood of finding a position you love, it will make your case stronger as an applicant as your passion and intention for this company and role will shine through. Get creative We often get stuck in a confined way of thinking based on how we think the job search process is supposed to go. Submit resume. Get interview. Go on interview. Get job offer. And while that process may be pretty typical when securing your first job out of college, the process becomes a lot less standardized as you continue through your career. Very rarely, in fact, does the process look exactly like that. You may need to make a personal connection, attend an event, cold call, utilize LinkedIn to get an introduction to the company. Depending on your industry, you may want to assemble a portfolio, build a personal website, share samples of your work to demonstrate your skills and qualifications. Very rarely, if ever, does being over-prepared or overcommitted work against you. Think outside the box about how you can both get your foot in the door and stand out from the competition. Make the process your own. Use your network You may be sick of sending your resume off into the digital void with no sense of whether or not a human ever takes a look at it. Personal connections and referrals are the most effective way to get an interview. So make sure you are sharing your interests and goals with your friends and family to see if they know anyone who may be able to support your pursuit. That being said, you do not necessarily need to know the person intimately to get a referral. Remember, recruiting is an expensive process, and the company wants to fill vacant positions with qualified candidates as soon as possible. If you are able to make a genuine connection with someone at your target company and can demonstrate your sincere interest in the role and your qualifications for the position, you are doing them as much of a favor as they are doing for you (and they may even get a referral bonus if you land the job!). Utilize LinkedIn to see if you have connections at the company or if you are connected with someone who does, and ask for an intro. Check out your target company’s website and social media accounts to see if they have any upcoming events you can attend. Think about industry events or conferences they may be involved with. If and when you do meet someone there, they will respect your drive and proactivity. Remember your gifts You are uniquely gifted, and you bring something special and valuable to the table. Reconnect with the things you tend to get complimented for, the things you have excelled at in the past, the things that come naturally to you, the things people come to you for help on, the things that you do differently. Dig deep and you are sure to remember something, if not many things, that you do well. Remind yourself that no job interview will take that away from you. And be sure in your next one to call out these gifts. Incorporate them into your responses and anecdotes. Your confidence will naturally begin to show through, and your stories will be compelling because they are unique to you. If you are still struggling to identify and articulate your gifts, enlist the support of a career coach or explore our online career program to get a clear picture of what makes you unique and valuable to an employer. Do the ALV 999 If you’ve been searching for a job for weeks or months, it may feel like an eternity. This is probably exacerbated by my previous point about the process being an unpleasant one. Take a look at the big picture and how small this time is when compared with your whole life. Do the ALV 999. Think, will this job search frustration matter 9 minutes from now (likely yes), 9 months from now (probably not), 9 years

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The Gift of Gratitude – The ALV 9

12/21/16

Nicole Wood

Our month spent focusing on The Gift of Gratitude was phenomenal, filled with laughs, happy tears and lots of fun gratitude videos from our ALV family. We’ve spent some time reflecting on all we learned in November have compiled the ALV 9, our top 9 takeaways from blogs, videos, research, coaching, ALV Live with Priya Shah and all your thoughts and ideas in ALV Connect. So let’s have at it: Don’t wait for something negative to enjoy the positive Of course life is a series of ups and downs, and when you are in a down, you have a new perspective on how high that up was. It’s natural. As I mentioned in my blog on gratitude, a concerted effort to identify and be grateful for all the ups you are currently living in can help you feel the same level of happiness and appreciation, hopefully without having to experience the down. Don’t postpone gratitude for certain milestones They call them milestones for a reason. They are something separated by a long distance. Most of your life is spent in the space between the milestones, so it doesn’t make sense to postpone your gratitude or joy for some point potentially far into the future. Learn to appreciate the journey because the journey is the reality in which you live. Absolutely celebrate the milestone once it’s reached, but don’t underestimate the power of the moments in between and the impact your perception of them can have on your life. Appreciate the little things and savor them A cup of coffee. A sunny day. A birthday card. All are beautiful, small things to be grateful for and not to rush past. Start to recognize the little things in life, as Priya Shah would define as The Simple Good.  Savor those moments of appreciation and even document them and share them with the world to enjoy too using #thesimplegood. And if you’re not up for sharing them publicly, document them for yourself. A small task, like journaling for just 5 minutes a day about what you’re grateful for can lead to a stronger immune system, higher levels of positive emotion, more joy and optimism, feeling less lonely, according to The 5 Minute Journal, one of our favorite gratitude tools. Gratitude makes you more successful Foram explained in her coaching insights video that when you express gratitude often, people want to be around you. It gravitates people toward you. This is a positive contributor to your reputation and others’ willingness to support you and can significantly enhance your career success. As quoted in this Forbes article, Geoffrey James states, “People who approach life with a sense of gratitude are constantly aware of what’s wonderful in their life. Because they enjoy the fruits of their successes, they seek out more success. And when things don’t go as planned, people who are grateful can put failure into perspective.” Appreciate people as well as things We often focus on material things when thinking about gratitude and forget to identify the people we are fortunate for in our lives. Most of the time, it is the people which bring us more joy than the things, so we shouldn’t overlook the value of being grateful for them. Take a moment to think about the people in your life who listen to you, support you, are fun to be around, who love you. I’ll bet you’ll find a lot to be grateful for. Express your gratitude In this month’s 20 Minute Life Changer, we had the opportunity to reflect on how it feels to be appreciated and how it feels when those around us don’t recognize our efforts or contributions. You may think it’s understood that you appreciate the people in your life, but often people just aren’t sure until you say it out loud! We also learned that writing a gratitude letter to a loved one can improve your happiness and wellbeing for up to 6 months after the exercise. This video from Soulpancake shows just how powerful the gratitude letter experience can be.  Expressing gratitude makes others feel great and makes you feel great in the process. Identify the flip side to your problems Remember to always put your challenges into perspective. What is the flip side to the annoyances and struggles of daily life? Grrr it sucks so bad that my flight was delayed. But wait I’m so lucky to have the opportunity to travel. What a pain, my laptop won’t work. Hold on a sec, I’m fortunate to have a fancy computer. Chances are, most of the time when something bad happens to us, the situation that even afforded us the opportunity for the bad thing to happen, someone else would love to be in. There are people who do not have the means for a laptop or to travel, so certainly take your moment to be frustrated, but also put that frustration into perspective and appreciate the flip side of your problem. Everyone is going through something As Katie wrote in her blog post, “Why Me (And How Did I Get So Lucky)“, it is easy to get caught up in our own, personal struggles and forget to realize that everyone is going through something. You may think, “What do I have to be grateful for when I’m dealing with such a hardship?” And you may be. But there are people out there who are dealing with trying hardships too in areas of your life that are not challenging for you. Maybe you are having relationship issues, but you have a great career. Maybe someone else has a great relationship but is struggling with weight issues. We all have our personal struggles, and we all have so much to be grateful for too. It is in our darkest times that it is most important to recognize all the light in our lives. Be compassionate Recognizing that everyone has their own challenges is a great way to begin building your capacity for compassion. Who knows

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10 Signs You Need a New Job

Self Awareness

12/15/16

Nicole Wood

Whoever tells you they’ve never cried in the bathroom stall at work is lying. We’ve all been there. Fortunately, you don’t have to stay there forever. Here are some signs that often lead up to that breakdown and signal it may be time to walk away and find a new job: When someone’s phone ring is the same as your alarm clock sound and you irrationally want to break their phone. Ok, so most people aren’t really in love with having to get out of bed in the morning. But your degree of detest for your alarm can tell you a lot about your degree of detest for your job.  When our alarm clock goes off because we need to get up for things we actually enjoy (like brunch or vacation or a job we’re excited about). Even though we might not be dancing out of bed, we are typically happy to wake up. If you literally have anxiety at night about the idea of work the next day, that’s a pretty clear sign that it’s time for a new job. When you become the worst version of yourself. A buildup of work-related stress over time can often lead to you lashing out on those around you. You may find yourself acting in ways that are completely out of character, shocking and embarrassing. Don’t continue to disappoint yourself or end up in a damaging situation. Identify this behavior early on and take action to find a job that empowers you to be the you you know. When you really just DGAF. If you feel completely apathetic about your job, you’re likely not doing something you’re passionate about. When we do something we’re passionate about we feel energized and alive. If you just don’t care and you’d rather spend your day doing anything else, it’s time for a change. Take note of what you do while you’re procrastinating from your work work. What we do when we procrastinate is often a good indication of what we’re truly passionate about.   When your life feels like a scene from Groundhog Day. It can be incredibly demoralizing when you’re craving more, but you’re stuck doing the same thing over and over again. Sometimes you just grow out of a job. Ensure you’ve learned all there is to be learned and you’ve connected with the folks you want to remain a part of your network while you work to find the next growth opportunity for you. When you’re secretly jealous of the homeless guy on your way to work because he doesn’t have to go to your job. And if you’re jealous of him, you’ll definitely be jealous of your friends who actually enjoy their careers. Don’t hate them. Be them.  If you’re feeling overwhelmed by jealousy when you see friends who are fulfilled by their jobs, it should be a kick in the pants to find a career equally meaningful to you. When you feel like you’re on an island. And not the kind with palm trees and mai tais. If you’re feeling completely alone and unsupported by those around you or by your organization, it could be time for a change. While your career path is yours to own, you need the support of others for guidance, personal growth and to achieve your potential. You may be able to actively seek out support, but if you’re feeling deserted you may want to look elsewhere. When your significant other hates your job more than you do. Most people don’t realize that they carry their jobs home with them. When you carry the stress of work home with you, it’s taxing on you and those around you. If you’re constantly checking your email, talking about the things that went wrong at work or complaining about your boss or coworkers, it could be a sign that this job isn’t right for you. Finding balance in our lives and knowing when to turn off work mode is important to both recharge and maintain healthy relationships. Sometimes we can put strategies in place to provide boundaries, and sometimes we need a new position all together. When you feel icky about it. Our values are a key component of who we are as people. When our job forces us to compromise our values, it often leaves us feeling unsettled or frustrated. Maybe you don’t agree with how your company treats its customers or maybe your job forces you to prioritize work over family. If those things conflict with your core values, the emotional and physical strain is sure to surface. When you feel like what you do all day is pointless. Cool, you just skipped happy hour with your friends to stay and crank on a PowerPoint presentation that NO ONE WILL EVER LOOK AT AGAIN. That sucks. Now we’re not all going to be a bunch of Mother Theresa’s, but we all want to feel that how we spend our time 40+ hours per week serves a purpose. We want to feel like our hard work has made an important contribution to someone or something. If you’re feeling like what you do doesn’t matter to anyone, it’s likely not aligned with your personal purpose. When you can feel the stress wrinkles as they form. Botox ain’t cheap my friend. But vanity aside, stress and anxiety caused by your job can have a true impact on your physical health. Poor eating habits, lack of sleep, weakened immune system are just the tip of the iceberg in terms of stress’s impact on the body. If you’re wide awake in bed at night, over-analyzing what your boss will yell at you for tomorrow, or panicking over a potential mistake you made in a spreadsheet, please consider is if it’s worth it. Don’t forget – most of the time people quit bosses, not jobs. Do not underestimate the impact one negative person can have on your perception and your wellbeing. When our clients come to us looking to make a career

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Show Stress Who’s Boss

12/01/16

Nicole Wood

I read a pretty darn good analogy about stress, that I will attempt to paraphrase. It started with the question, how heavy is a glass of water? If you hold it for a minute not very heavy at all. If you hold it for an hour it starts to get quite burdensome. If you try and hold it for a day, your arm might fall off (to read the non-Nicole version click here). That water is the stressors in your life. Hold onto them for a little while and you’re okay. But the longer you try and hold them, the more difficult it becomes. And in my mind, that glass of water is one type of stress, let’s say your boss. What if you piled on top of that glass a book and a cantaloupe and a bowl. This random assortment of objects is my weird mind’s representation of other stressors in your life like your relationship, your house, money.  If you keep that arm out trying to hold all those things up forever, your arm will eventually give in. And that give may be physical, mental and emotional. No bueno. This analogy could have been written about me. One thing goes wrong or stresses me out and I behave like the fucking queen. I am like, “Wow I am a vision of patience and manners.” Two things go wrong, and I start thinking, “How the hell does the queen do this?” A handful of stressors kick in, and I lash out like a teenager who just got her phone taken away. I’m a real B-I-T-C-H. Though they may all individually be small, together and over time they collapse me. And it is not a pretty sight – for myself or for those around me. Just ask my fiancé. So I, myself, am working now on our ALV stress management approach. I recognize that there will never be a point in life where stress doesn’t exist, so you and I need to find the tools and build the practices that help you deal with it in a healthy, non-B-I-T-C-H way. A way to let the air out of the balloon before it pops. Our approach is called CALM: call it, ask for help, laugh, meditate. I’m certainly no master at it (yet!), but I can share what has worked for me. Call It. Sometimes this is the hardest part. Whether it’s noticing it or admitting it, it’s hard to say out loud, “I can’t handle this.” We feel like we need to just deal with it and do it all. Seems like everyone else does. So why can’t we handle all of this without exploding? Well we all get stressed out by different things, and so we can’t compare ourselves to what others do. You have to get to know your own body, your own stressors and recognize when you’re in an unhealthy situation for you and only you. I can feel when I’m tensing up. When my back starts to hurt. When I can feel my grays growing in and my wrinkles forming in my forehead. And I sure as shit don’t want to look like I’m 50 when I’m 30 so that’s usually the trigger point for me to say, “Okay, I’m overwhelmed.”  But the trick is to recognize these symptoms before it gets to that point. Before you lash out on your loved ones. Before you end up in tears. Start to identify those warning signs earlier and earlier, and don’t be afraid to admit when stress is starting to take hold of you. Which leads me to the second part of our framework… Ask for help. Get someone to hold the glass for you for a while. There ain’t nothin wrong with delegation. In fact, it’s a pretty valuable skill to develop. Can you ask a colleague to support you with something at work? Can you temporarily offload some housework on your partner? Can you say no to attending some events until things have calmed down? Prioritization is key, and no one will be mad at you for being open and honest about how you’re feeling. And guess what? The world will still go round if that housework doesn’t get done or if my fiancé folds something wrong (which is inevitable). It’s okay. I repeat. It’s okay. Laugh. Watch a funny movie. Force yourself to smile. Laugh at yourself and your situation. Your body will immediately relax, even if for a brief moment, and it will give you the energy you need to power through. Katie, Foram and I just chatted about this because we are each doing more in one year than most people do in 5. This year alone, I have quit my job, started two businesses, bought 2 condos, sold one, planned a wedding.  As much as I try to be, I can’t be great at all of it. I’m a shitty bride. I have to just laugh at that. I’m sure my place settings will be ugly AF. But I’m going to have to just laugh at that too. Though it is something so simple, it is amazing how powerful a quick laugh can be in transforming you from stressball-you back to calm-you. When the weight of life is pushing down, it is laughter that will be your support beam. Meditate. This may sound a little “out there”, but it doesn’t need to mean that you sit legs crossed, middle finger and thumb touching. For me this just means that you do whatever you can to quiet the stressors in your mind. Take a walk. Play with your dogs. Write. Listen to music. Take a bath. Do whatever works for you to make that stress take a temporary back seat. When I do try to go for the more traditional approach, I have found that focusing on the sounds around me works for me (I learned this practice on our Ecuador retreat #signuptoday). I hear a car noise, a dog bark,

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The Gift of Gratitude

10/31/16

Nicole Wood

It has been a long day for me. I got three hours of sleep, I took a 6am flight, I have been on one bus, three subways and a train today. My laptop refused to connect to the internet all day, so I spent over an hour on the phone with Apple (and was forced to listen to Coldplay while on hold) only to discover it was a network problem and not a laptop problem. While this may seem like a bizarre time to write a blog on gratitude, I actually think it’s quite logical. Listen to my problems. I got to travel to a different city today. I got to explore its transit system and feel that satisfaction of knowing I navigated one bus, three subways and a train all by myself with next to no hiccups ;). I have a Macbook. Something that costs many people’s rent payment. Something I had wanted for a really long time. Damn. I’m pretty freaking lucky.   It’s all about perspective. You can choose to view the array of public transit as a burden or as an adventure. You can pretend like Coldplay is a good band and rock out, or you can let it add to your misery (I know this one’s a stretch. Coldplay sucks). What to you seems like a shitty stroke of luck (having to take a 6am flight), could be something someone else has dreamed of (visiting New York City). I’m not saying don’t feel bad for yourself when unfortunate things happen to you. Take a minute. Cry. Scream. Be angry or sad. But I am saying to also take a second to at least appreciate how lucky you are, and that other people would kill to have your problems. You, like me, have got it pretty damn good.   Don’t wait until you cross a certain threshold to appreciate what you have. I have this tendency. Once my business is making X dollars, it will be amazing. Once we just redo the dining room I’ll love my house. It is human nature to focus more on what you don’t have than what you do. Funny how it takes getting a cold to appreciate being able to breathe through both nostrils. Or being in another country to appreciate the comforts of home. Or seeing another couple fight to be thankful for your partner. You often need to experience the downs to appreciate the ups. But does that have to be the case? What if we tried, really tried hard, to recognize that much of what we’re living right now is an up, and if we are very fortunate, we may never have to experience the down. What if we focused more on what we do have than what we don’t? I can guarantee you, that concerted effort to recognize and appreciate the ups you are living in, will make you feel more happy and full.   Even when we are grateful and we recognize it internally, most of us really suck at expressing it. Who did something nice for you today? Who supported you, complimented you, helped you, listened to you, made you laugh, taught you something, shared something with you? There are people all around us who add beauty and excitement to our lives. But we wait for special occasions (or a late night drunken bonding sesh) to tell them how much it means. That’s bullshit. Don’t wait. Tell them today. Tell them right now. Tell them in the moment that you’re thankful. Let them know that you recognize them for what they’re adding to your life and you appreciate it. It will feel good for them to hear, and it will feel good for you to say.   Now I know that each and every one of us has gone through something real. True heartache that doesn’t come from a broken laptop. So I won’t belittle your life’s struggles or assume that you have made it to where you are without the world truly testing the limits of your resolve. Rather what I challenge you to do is change your mindset. Begin to see the even small moments of beauty when you’re smack dab in the middle of those trying times. And take the time to appreciate those moments and those people, even when things are going well. The world will continue to offer you these gifts, if you take the time to be grateful for them. Write a mental thank you card to the world. And you’ll be surprised at how much more she gives and gives.

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ALV Live! Fighting Fear of Failure

10/28/16

Nicole Wood

This month we had an exciting panel of three women who share insights from their experience with fighting fear of failure. From overcoming a fear of heights to dealing with imposter syndrome, they hit it all.  You’ll also hear from Nicole about Ama La Vida – How did it form? What’s on offer? And where did that crazy name come from? Coach Katie will enlighten you about the origin of fear – where does it come from and why do we feel it? And coach Foram will challenge you to start working towards those goals that you’ve always wanted to achieve! Check it out, you won’t regret it!

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