How To Shift Your Mindset Around Feedback

Leadership Coaching, Life Coaching, Mindset & Mindfulness
02/08/22 - Peggy Wu

“Whenever you feel uncomfortable, instead of retreating back into your old comfort zone, pat yourself on the back and say, ‘I must be growing,’ and continue moving forward.”- T. Harv Eker

I recently shared with my coach (yes, coaches need a coach, too!) that I learned something new and valuable through dealing with a challenging situation and negative feedback. My coach said, “Good, that challenge was a gift to you.” Although every fiber of my being wants to disagree, she was absolutely right. I don’t enjoy managing challenging situations or receiving negative feedback. To be honest, I dread receiving anything but positive feedback as I tend to correlate those to criticism. Underneath the discomfort is the fear of not being good enough.


I want to reframe my thinking around these types of situations, so I asked myself these three questions:

  1. Is feedback a bad thing?
  2. What am I missing if I shy away from things I don’t wish to hear? I know getting feedback is not a bad thing. Avoiding it means I might be missing critical information that could help me thrive.
  3. So then, how do I deal with the discomfort associated with feedback?

Believing that there is a reward on the other side of discomfort is the answer! We can’t control how other people give feedback, but we can decide how we take it. Attacks with hurtful words are crap that we shouldn’t waste our time on. Well-intended messages from people we trust deserve to be heard. We can use what we learn from others to our advantage.

Here is my process for handling feedback:
  1. Be an observer and notice if what you hear feels triggering. If yes, check in with yourself. Is what am I feeling an old wound? There is no need to suppress your feelings or justify them. Just let the emotions flow and observe.
  2. Set your emotions aside and reflect on the feedback. Ask yourself, “What is something new here that I haven’t thought of before, and what is an existing pattern that people want me to pay attention to?” Evaluate what is helpful and what you can gain from the lesson.
  3. Embrace who you are and how far you’ve come. Give yourself credit for trying and cultivating personal growth. Have compassion for yourself.
  4. Apply what you learned from the feedback and move on.

Not everyone knows how to give or receive feedback. Both require practice and the willingness to learn. Instead of steering away from hearing someone point out your blind spots, focus on the value of personal growth. The target outcome is to expand yourself and be the best version of yourself, a reward that’s on the other side of discomfort.

~ Peggy

Related Articles

What are your professional goals? It’s a question that can make even the most seasoned professionals pause. Whether you’re just starting out or well into your career, setting professional goals is crucial. It’s about more than just climbing the corporate ladder. It’s worth taking the time to figure out your professional goals. This process is […]

Read More
woman looking at computer writing down notes in her journal

Let’s face it, no one ever teaches you how to navigate your career. At best, we get half-hearted questions like, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” and “Do you know what you’re going to do when you finish school?” From there, you can try to find a mentor or hope for […]

Read More
Laptop with May calendar tech background with coral reef photo

May is Mental Health Awareness Month! 💖 Get our latest tech backgrounds and reminders to inspire you to prioritize taking care of yourself and your community this month. Download our tech backgrounds to dress up your phone and computer to stay inspired all month long.

Read More