I had two majors in college: Biology for my parents, French for me. After undergrad, I started a masters program in public health and landed my dream job of teaching French to kids in an afterschool program. I had wanted so badly to use my French, especially after everyone said it was a useless major. The job was everything I wanted. It was part-time, so I could still focus on my graduate program. I used my French language skills, so that I could put my degree to use. It uncluded purpose-driven work because I was teaching kids. And it promised to be fun and engaging as the program used artwork and other creative resources to teach. I was thrilled! I told everybody who questioned what I’d do with my French major about the job and started it with gusto. Only to realize, within the first few weeks, that my job was as a glorified babysitter. I hadn’t signed up for that. So, what do you do when you realize that your dream job isn’t your dream job? Whether you’re three weeks, three months, or three years into the job, don’t panic. This is more common than you’d think. It could be that you take a job that doesn’t match up to your expectations. Or maybe you grow as you work and realize that you want different things than what your job can offer. Once you start pressing snooze 8 or 9 times in the morning and negotiating or downright bribing yourself in ways to get out of bed and to work, you know it’s time to regroup. First off, the fact that this is a job that you call your dream job makes it hard, embarrassing, scary, and hundreds of additional negative adjectives that make it difficult to admit you are unhappy. This is the job that you searched for months to find. You’ve researched like crazy, made connections when you hate networking, and spent hours on producing a polished cover letter and resume. You’ve prepared for your interviews and knocked them out of the park. You got the offer, and you shouted it from the treetops. But remember that the only person that gets hurt if you don’t own the fact that the job no longer is working for you is yourself. You owe it to yourself and your career to reflect and explore the problem. Getting Clear Before taking any action, get clear on what you don’t like about the job. What makes it not your dream job anymore? For example, if your response to that question is there’s a negative work environment, then spend some time breaking that down and identifying what elements makes a positive environment for you. If your response is that you’re not doing the type of work you thought you’d be doing, then write down what work you want to be doing. If your response is that you’re working way more hours that you thought you would, think about what an ideal work-life balance looks like for you. It’s important that you go beyond the superficial in your investigation. Considering Next Steps Once you have a good understanding of what is making your dream job no longer your dream job, your next steps become clearer. Generally, these steps will fall into three categories: – The issue is temporary and may resolve itself – The challenge you’re having is potentially fixable if you take steps to address it – The problem is intrinsic to the job and it’s time to go. Temporary glitch After your reflection, you may realize that the problem is temporary. If you’re miserable because of a specific project or client, then you know that the job will get its shiny glow back soon enough. In the meantime, consider ways that can make this period of time more palatable. Could you communicate your challenges to your manager so that your workload could be shifted allowing for it to be more manageable? Could you ask co-workers for help? Maybe you could plan something you love doing on the weekend so that you have something to look forward to? However, if these periods of time start adding up and outweigh the times that your dream job is still your dream job, then you may want to re-evaluate. Fixer upper After you are clear with the issues you’re having, you could see that they can be addressed and resolved. Say you no longer find the work you’re doing to be challenging since you’ve been doing it for three years straight. Are there opportunities at your company to get involved in other work which would allow you to learn something new and develop in another area? Perhaps you’re a new manager and you’re really struggling with your direct reports. It’s keeping you from doing your own work and making you miserable. Ask management if there’s a new leader program you can attend. Consider exploring some online classes that could provide tips and tools of how to manage employees. Or maybe there’s an opportunity to work with a coach to help you navigate being a first-time manager and develop your authentic management style. If, however, your attempts to develop aren’t being addressed, then you may want to reassess. Get out Once you’re clear on why you’re unhappy, it’s time to search for a different job. This could be a tough realization. In my case, after evaluating why the French teaching job wasn’t for me, it was clear to me that I had to search for a new position. It took a little while to admit that to myself because I was so proud that I found a position that used my French. Especially when I had so many people saying I wouldn’t. In the long run, it was for my own happiness that I knew it was critical that I let go. It’s okay if your dream job isn’t your dream job. It may feel discouraging, but it’s only helped you become clearer on what

After you’ve given so much of yourself to a job, it can be very difficult to say goodbye. You don’t want to burn bridges, and you want to go out with grace. But how do you do it? No one teaches you how to quit your job! Luckily we do! And the fact that you’re here reading this tells me that you have a lot of loyalty to your employer and respect for the people there, so even if you don’t follow my advice precisely, you will be just fine. So take a deep breath and read on. I’ll break down for you everything you need to know about how to quit. When Not To Do It You’re not going to like this, but I’m going to start my guidance out with an ‘it depends!’ But before we get into the different options for when you should give your notice, here are a few times not to do it: When you’re in the heat of the moment It’s never good to quit when emotions are high. You may say things you regret. In this Refinery29 article, we hear from 8 people who rage-quit their jobs. Though it’s not a good look or an ideal scenario, what I love about this is how positive most of these people are now. Again this is reassurance that even if this process doesn’t go exactly according to plan, you are moving onward and upward! When the team has a huge deadline the next day When it’s all hands on deck, dropping your news could make the stress level go off the charts. That being said, if your team seems to always be in crisis mode, then you need to move forward with your plan regardless of what’s going on. If you’re out on a vacation and give less than 2 weeks This is very unprofessional. It may be tempting if you are very unhappy, but you need to have the courtesy of wrapping things up in person. In my opinion, the tried and true two weeks notice still stands. I wouldn’t give less than two weeks, but in some cases, it may make sense to give more: If you have project-based work If you know you are moving on but want to see a project through to completion, it may make sense to give notice sooner. You can let your employer know so they can plan accordingly as they staff future projects, but you can wrap up your current one. If you plan to take time off and your timing is flexible If you plan to be “funemployed” after you leave, and you have no set timeline for this to begin, you can give your notice and make your end date somewhat negotiable based on the company’s needs. Maybe they will ask you to stay on through a certain meeting or maybe they will wish you well and have you depart in 2 weeks time. This is a courteous thing to do, but be careful not to let it drag on. Even though you don’t have a firm deadline, you have committed to this time for yourself, so make sure you have a cutoff date that you won’t let work slip into. If you are in a very senior role… and you want to be active in supporting the company to backfill. When you are in a VP or C-suite position, it takes way more than 2 weeks to find your replacement. You may want to give a significant amount of notice so that you can help recruit and interview your replacement and ensure a smooth (as smooth as can be!) transition. One thing to note is that there is definitely a mental shift that takes place once your news is out in the open. This can be good because your excitement for your new path can grow, and you are less phased by the things currently happening around you (especially if you are in a less than ideal work environment). However, it can also be challenging to stay focused. Keep this in the back of your mind because even though some degree of disengagement is expected, you want to show that you aren’t slacking off because you’re leaving. Who To Talk To In most cases, the first person you should tell is your direct supervisor. They are who you have the closest working relationship with and who will be most impacted by your news. You’ll want to tell your boss first and then discuss with them when and how to tell the rest of your team. In some cases, it may make sense to speak with someone else first or involve others in the conversation. For example, if you work in consulting where you don’t have quite the same formal reporting relationship, I’d recommend that you start with the person who is responsible for your career development. Then you can tell the person you are reporting to directly on your current project. Then finally it’s time to formally report your news to HR. Alternatively, if you work in a very small company, you may want to include your boss and a founder right off the bat. This is completely situation dependent. Think about it like this, who would you not want to find out your news from someone else? Make it a priority to tell those people first. Who Not To Talk To Depending on your role, the news of you leaving could cause some concern and confusion within the company. Of course, it is your news to tell, and who you share it with is ultimately up to you. But it is courteous to have the conversation with your boss about the best time and place to break the news to the team. How To Quit It is best to have this conversation in person if possible to show respect to the person and the company. By looking the person in the eye when you deliver the news, it shows that

What a lot of people don’t know about me is that I was a competitive figure skater for 13 years. My childhood dream was to be an Olympic level skater. I wanted to be the next Sasha Cohen, Michelle Kwan, or Tara Lipinski. I had my Olympic year picked out – I would be a part of the US team for the 2018 Winter Olympics. No one tells you when you want to be a figure skater, you are actually signing up to become a professional faller. You see, when you start taking lessons, the first thing an instructor teaches you is how to fall. Now you may be thinking, “I don’t need any help falling. I’m already clumsy, and when you add in a slippery surface it’s bound to happen!” While your experience with falling may be inconvenient, there is a good chance it’s never hurt for more than a few minutes, or at worst, a few days. You may rest a few days, but eventually, you get back to life as you know it. What most people forget is that some falls can be detrimental if you don’t know what you’re doing. The ice hurts. It’s unrelenting and unforgiving. If you fall once, it does nothing to ensure that it hurts less the second time. In fact, because you’re already sore, it will actually hurt more every time after. I know what you’re thinking. “Why are you telling me this? I have no desire to become a figure skater, nor do I want to have to learn how to fall!” The point, however, is that if you don’t know how to fall correctly, you can really hurt yourself. It’s not because the figure skating world wants to make all newbies feel dumb; it’s because we want to make sure you don’t get hurt. We want to make you a “smart” faller. Think of it this way, if you slip and fall landing on your hip, it’s going to hurt a lot more than if you land on your butt. When you learn to fall you practice falling onto your butt again and again and again. The point is to build a habit of falling on the most protected part of your body. They lay the groundwork of skating by showing you how to fall so it doesn’t hurt as much. Then you have a much smaller chance of getting hurt. If they never taught us how to fall, I wouldn’t have made it through my figure skating career without major injury. No matter where you fall, at the rink or in life, it can be detrimental. How many of you would say you’re willing to fall for multiple hours on end every day in the slim hopes that you will catch the right edge on your landing and stay on your feet? I spent anywhere from 10-25+ hours a week at the rink growing up. If you ask my mom how much of that time was spent quite literally with me “on” the ice, versus skating she will admit a large majority of it. When you spend that much time falling you’re bound to learn a thing or two. So here is what I learned from 12 years of falling: Resilience. Call it resilience, call it persistence, call it grit, call it a never give up attitude! When “practice” means going to commit yourself to falling for hours on end, you learn a lot about how to stick with something until you get it right. Trying a new jump, chances are you’ll be throwing it about 100 times a day for 2-3 weeks until you can “land” it. When I started making cold calls I could make a hundred calls and they all would flop, hard. The sting of rejection is a beast to manage. But after you land the jump, it’s another series of 100 times a day for 2-3 weeks until you can call it consistent. The more I practiced cold calling, the more consistently I’m able to wrangle the conversation, predict the outcome, and get a meeting. Skating taught me that there is a really big difference between landing a jump once and landing it consistently.  Consistency. Speaking of consistency, I was taught at a young age the importance of delivering steadily. You can have the best program but if you can’t execute the skills almost flawlessly every time, you won’t win. The judges don’t care about your last performance, or how you did last week, they only care about now. Learning to show up every time you step on the ice is challenging. No matter what’s going on outside of the rink, you have to clear your mind, focus, and execute the task at hand. The bottom line is that the judges don’t care if you didn’t sleep well, or if you feel sick, or tight, or if you are having problems with your best friend. They only care about how well you’re going to perform right here, right now. I would attribute the character trait of consistency to my past academic achievements. I mean, you don’t graduate with a GPA of 4.2 if you don’t know how to show up on every paper, every assignment, and every project. This ability to give the tasks at hand my all each and every time I’m asked has also directly affected the amount of success I have in my current job at Ama La Vida.  Courage. I’m sure you all know the saying “you have to get back on the horse when you fall.” The same goes for skating. You have to throw the jump again. You have to be open to knowing that you’re going to fall and be willing to try it again. Courage, as Harper Lee says, “is when you know you’re licked before you begin and choose to see it through no matter what.” Nothing builds courage like knowing you’ll be working on a jump for two weeks before even having