“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

Eleanor Roosevelt

When I read this quote, it sounds like such a simple concept, until that icky feeling of “not feeling good enough” overtakes me. (And, yes, Coaches can feel inferior too!) So, what can we do?

It’s a question I get asked a lot as a coach. There is no one easy answer – there are a lot of things that go into having confidence in yourself. One of the biggest things that I always start with are the expectations I set for people about how I want to be treated.

For example, this past week a client and I were working on building her confidence in the workplace: what triggers to look for, how to reframe limiting beliefs, and what action she may take. We talked through different tactical steps and did some role play. It all came down to communicating with people about how you want to be treated.

This holds true for professional and personal relationships. We often teach others how to treat us. If we don’t set a boundary or clear expectation, or stop unwanted behavior, we send a message that says “it is okay to continue doing this and I will accept it.”

So step one – decide how you want to be treated. Step two: begin teaching people and communicating with them what this looks like. Make your messaging clear, easy to understand and often!

Wondering where to start? Need some help? I hosted a free coaching hour where we talked through all of this, and more! Click here to watch replay.

~ Coach Shari

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Shari Santoriello

Welcome! I’m Shari Santoriello, a Career Specialist with Ama La Vida and I am as happy as you are to be here! I am a native New Yorker who resides on the beautiful north shore of eastern Long Island. I am a 25-year career veteran who has had success in marketing communications and a ten-year career teaching at the college level. Read my whole story here.